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Thursday, August 27, 2009

HOM: Just An Episode

Lyn decided she didn't want any more children, a decision I heartily agreed with, so when options were discussed I volunteered to get a vasectomy. I consider this one of my braver moments, since I was the one that passed out listening to a shipmate describe his, but it was also one of my cheapskate moments as it was cheaper for me to be operated on than Lyn. I went to a doctor that I considered a friend, Loren Vranish, made the appointment and showed up when I was supposed to. Then it got interesting . . . There I am, on my back, with the doc slicing away and the nurse standing by, when he suddenly frowns, bends closer, says "Uh-oh!" I'd sorta been keeping track of what he was doing -- he wore glasses and the lenses acted as fairly good mirrors. Spectating hadn't helped me relax, and hearing him say that made me clench my toes so hard they cramped. After a few seconds of pure panic, I managed to ask if everything was going okay, and he shook his head and said no, things were going badly. THEN he started telling me how things were going badly for HIM in HIS life . . . not the question I had in mind when I asked. I still have no idea what the "Uh-oh" was for. Everything eventually got sliced, diced, tied and stitched and I was sent on my way with a bottle of pain killers and an admonition to take it easy for a few days. A couple we knew had decided they didn't want any more kids either, so the husband was kind of interested in how I was doing and asked me to stop by. We were outside visiting when his wife -- who knew of the operation -- walked up and asked me how I was doing. When I told her I was hanging in there she dang near choked to death. They thought it was funnier than I did. Note to self: A sense of humor is good in a doctor. Sometimes. TBC (Me) (Blacktail Books)