HOM: Deadline 1972

It was an interesting Spring Break. We had some family introductions, went sightseeing, planned get-togethers, set a date for 6/12/72, did the planning bit, fought with the church... Her family was Catholic, so they all wanted us to have a Catholic wedding. I wasn't & didn't care -- I figure God is the same, regardless of the church. The Church was Catholic, and cared a lot. It was like Deja Vu all over again, in family history. Catholic woman -- Protestant man. Mom was attending the Catholic church when she & Floyd got married. When they went in to talk with the Priest they met the same attitude. He & Dad pulled off a scene from "Irresistible Force Hits Immovable Object." Dad lost his temper and scared the crap out of the priest & he & Mom got married at Central Christian Church, which Dad attended. My temper is probably worse than Dad's was but I usually handle mine differently. Dad would always explode verbally & loudly, but by either nature or nurture I get quieter as I get madder. I was growling after five minutes into the conversation, and when the priest told Lyn she was a fool for wanting to try to pull the wool over God's eyes by getting married in His Church to an infidel like me I lost it. Don't remember at all what I said or did, all I remember is finally taking her arm and leading her out of there while the Priest sat there in silence staring at me. Hindsight -- I wish we'd listened to him... So we went to the local Nazarene church and talked to the pastor there, who had no problem with doing the ceremonial bit for us. Nazarene is still my first choice of churches, though I have met both good & bad folks in it, like in all churches. I have no clue what discussions went on in the background at her house, but her family finally went along with the plans. Stage Two of planning kicked in, for a big formal wedding/fancy reception. No one asked me what I wanted -- I guess they figured blue jeans and tee shirts would have been my preference. They were right. At that stage, I didn't care too much, and was pretty agreeable to whatever they wanted. Of course I managed to put my foot in my mouth, probably more frequently than I know of. Ruth, Lyn's mom, did run the planned menu by me, item by item, and I okayed everything, including green beans almondine. A few hours later Kathy, Lyn's sister, asked me if there were any foods I didn't like & I told her I hated stringbeans. Ruth overheard, and I had to throw together a quick explanation that I'd never had them almondine and wanted to try them that way. Later, I was visiting with Ruth in the kitchen when their Great Dane walked by and his happily flailing tail caught me right across the zipper and I found myself sitting on the floor. I told Ruth I liked getting down on a dog's level when I petted it. I think Ruth decided I was an awful liar. As a side note, I was given the grand tour of Boston by her folks, including some nice restaurants. I guess my manners passed muster, but I did get treated like I was from a different world, which I guess I was, really. They had me try triple brewed Turkish coffee that was the consistency of syrup and were surprised when I loved it. Dick, Lyn's dad, ordered me some oysters on the half shell. I ate a few, then asked how they were cooked. Both Ruth & Dick eyeballed me pretty closely when they informed me that they were raw. Ruth asked how I was able to eat them, and turned a little pale when I said it was easy, I just put them on my tongue, poked them with the fork, and they wiggled right on down. Montana RedNeck meets Boston Staid: Casualties result. TBC (Me) (Blacktail Books)